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11/12/08
Q: How do you beat a drug test?
A: Boy, that’s about as broad a question as you can get. I don’t know if you mean beating a test for AAS or for recreational drugs or other illegal substances. Regardless, beating any drug test is no picnic and something that is much more intricate than saying, “Do X and the outcome will be Y.” A lot of the drug-beating tests and options on the internet center around beating tests that focus on recreational drugs, such as marijuana and other “party” drugs. Many employers these days are testing routinely to keep a “drug-free” workplace. Naturally, I will tell you that I’m in favor of this, as recreational drugs and steroids are two very different things. Powdered urine can be purchased and reconstituted to take the place of a real sample, but it’s tricky since many people now watch someone take a drug test - this is particularly true with the legal system and testing as a matter of probation compliance. Urine tests are easier to beat though. It’s the blood test that is more difficult. The options for blood or urine tests beyond replacing one’s own urine, are these: A detox kit, or a product that is able to confuse or mask tests being performed. In detox kits, efforts focus on coating hair (which holds the remnants of drugs taken for months - even years) and on flushing the body of metabolites of drugs. Again, mostly this market services those who want to beat marijuana and cocaine metabolites.
And gone are the days of massive doses of golden seal herb and other flushing agents. The caveat? People wanting to pass a drug test should know that new government drug testing guidelines now include that all laboratories perform a specimen integrity check before testing for drugs. They now look for additives, dilution, and most of the available adulterants/masking products, i.e. Mary Jane Super Clean 13 (liquid soap), Urinaid (glutaraldehyde), THC Free (acid), Klear (nitrite), Urine Luck (pyridinium chlorochromate), TestKlear, Golden Seal, Terminator Gold, Stealth, Clean-X, and Instant Clean.
As for sophisticated masking agents for AAS, such as “The Clear” from Balco, etc… it’s all kept pretty hush-hush. The best possible way to avoid a positive is to stop taking orals 2-4 weeks before a test, stop taking injectable water-based drugs 2-4 weeks before, and stop taking injectable oil-based drugs for 4 to 6 months before a test. Getting fat is also a very bad idea, because the fatter you are during those big oil-based drug cycles, the more metabolites you’ll ultimately store in fat that then is released during a fat-loss pre-contest diet.
